Saying Goodbye…For Now

A funny thing happens when you travel or are living abroad.  Emotions seem heightened, friendships are made quickly, and relationships tend to be  accelerated.  As I prepare to leave tomorrow, it amazes me how sad I am and how much I feel I will miss the friends I have made here while I’m home.  I have been lucky to meet some wonderful people and a welcoming community here at the language school/Morogoro, and in particular, a group of girls that are close to my heart.

On another note, I have found myself really becoming attached to Tanzania.  And if I can make a confession, I wasn’t sure that I would.  My first extended trip abroad was for three months, to Bolivia.  I loved it.  I really truly, deep in my bones, loved it.  I still feel slightly heart-broken when I think about the fact that I haven’t been able to go back since.  The first two times I came to Tanzania, I didn’t feel that way.  Granted, they were short trips and as a cold-weather person, it is not my favorite climate.  Now, I certainly didn’t hate it; the people are just incredibly warm and welcoming and it is a beautiful country, so it’s hard not to see the positives.  But I didn’t feel that deep connection that I had felt in Bolivia.  So it was with some trepidation that I planned to move here for ten months.  However, over the past three months, it has, almost without me realizing it, grown on me so much that I know I will miss not only my friends but the country itself.  As I learn the language, it just becomes a better and better experience.  I leave tomorrow for Dar es Salaam in the morning, and then fly back to the States tomorrow night.  I’m excited to see my family and to have time to figure out what’s going on and recover.  But I can’t wait to come back.

Earlier this week, I had a little going away dinner with my wazungu friends at my favorite Indian restaurant in town.  Stephanie, in an amazing feat, made me a gluten-free chocolate cake (it is truly hard to impress upon you, dear readers, how ambitious this was to attempt here), which was delicious.  It was a great night, and still enough hours away from my departure for it to not seem real.

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Tonight, some of the teachers and students at the language school got together because not only me, but two other students were leaving this week.  The teachers had us over to their house for refreshments and we had a great time just sitting around, talking, and listening to music, in the company of Soulja Boy, the Tanzanian puppy.  He belongs to one of my friends, Joseph, a teacher at the school and a big music fan.  Since he was set on naming him after a rapper, Anne and I were hard-core lobbying for Snoop Dogg, but alas, Soulja Boy won out.  I have known Souja Boy since he was just a week old, and am happy to report that he is growing into a fine young pup who can be seen showing off his posing skills in the picture below.  And now, I am off!
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Kids Love Stickers, and Other Universal Truths

I think I’ve mentioned once or twice the orphanage in town.  I had been hearing about the children there from Shantelle nearly since I first arrived.  It is clearly a place close to her heart.  I had met some of the older boys a couple of weeks ago at the Boone’s house, but that was all.  Although I had wanted to visit for a while now, I hadn’t had a chance until this week.  Shantelle, the Boone family, and their friends Chris and Emily, were planning on spending the afternoon with the kids and I decided to tag along.

The orphanage is run by Catholic nuns.  It is a mid-sized rectangular building set around a central concrete courtyard, with a playground out back.  The children are all pretty young.  If I had to guess, I would say they were all under the age of nine or so.  Truthfully, to our eyes, it looks pretty sparse, but it was clean and all of the children appeared to be pretty well taken care of.  As soon as we pulled up, children were at the door of the orphanage, yelling out greetings.  It was clear my friends were favorite visitors.  We greeted the nuns on our way in and paid our respects, but as soon as we crossed the threshold, we were pulled into a whirlwind of energy.  The kids gathered round, shouting out for their favorite adult, demanding hugs, eager to start games.

One of the first things we did was to gather some of the babies and toddlers from the nursery.  Given the number of children, this age group often does not get as much affection and attention as it should.  I don’t mean to be critical.  It is a large job and the nuns clearly care about their charges.  But the reality is that the older children are naturally more vocal about their needs and have each other to play with.  The babies and toddlers are often in their cribs most of the time.  So we each gathered up a little one to cuddle and feed while the older kids ate their lunch of rice and beans.  The kids would periodically come over to help with a bottle or stroke a baby’s head.  It was clear that nuns had taught them to be gentle and careful with the younger ones.

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I had brought stickers with me from the States for kids that I met.  In the past when I’ve traveled, I’ve found that having a little something like stickers or coloring books can be a good way to break the ice with kids I meet when we don’t speak the same language.  I had this image in my head where I would take out the stickers and be able to tear off a couple from each sheet for each child in a calm orderly fashion that would ensure everyone got a roughly equal amount.  (Anyone who has children is probably laughing at me right now.  Actually, given the size of my extended family and all of the children I’ve spent time with over the years, I am laughing at myself).  Of course, the minute I pulled the stickers out, they were pulled from my hands  by the biggest of the kids, who rapidly started peeling them off and sticking them to anything (or anyone) standing still, including themselves.  Chris and I managed to re-establish some semblance of order to oversee the distribution, and I will say this, I was so impressed with the older kids.  Although they weren’t going to give up control of the sheets, they did make sure that all of the little ones got stickers too, sometimes going so far as to pull them off their friends and re-stick them on those who had fewer.  It was a feeding frenzy for a bit but you really can’t blame them.  Stickers are awesome and toys are definitely scarce.

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The fun then moved outside to the playground, where the adults were very quickly worn out and the kids showed off all of their moves on the jungle gym with boundless energy.  The playground is the kind of bare bones metal death trap-looking structure that no American parent nowadays would let their child near…and that I and my friends had an absolute ball on when we were kids.  (I remember when my former elementary school rebuilt their playground after I had moved on to Middle School and all I could think at the time was how boring it looked).  Now, as an adult myself, I tried to focus on the joy in watching the kids, and pushed down the rising panic every time a child almost flew off the merry-go-round.

Eventually, it was time to go and hugs all around were given.  The kids saw us off to the gate, yelling goodbyes.  Just a great, great day.

“It’ll Never Happen to Me”

So…something I haven’t talked about much is the fact that I have been sick since I arrived in Tanzania. Well almost. Technically it started a week after I arrived. But for the better part of two and a half months I have been ill, with short bursts of 3-4 days where I would get sort of better and then relapse. Before you come on a trip like this you are pumped full of so many immunizations, prescribed malaria pills, given your “just in case” bottle of Cipro, and sign up for extra international health insurance. You go through the motions and assume that, despite all of the risks, at most you’ll get a little case of Montezuma’s Revenge, pop some Pepto, and continue on. You buy the policy and roll your eyes because you are sure that you just sent money out the door, never to be seen again.

So when I first got sick of course I thought, “Bad food or water.” No biggie. Day in bed resting, drink lots of water, back in lessons tomorrow. Except that 24 hours later I was moaning in a fetal position in bed and waiting for the alien to burst from my abdomen. The school teachers made me go to the local clinic to get tested for parasites and bacteria. A few hours later, I was finally diagnosed with a bacterial infection and prescribed antibiotics and a shot of painkillers in the arse. Fun fact: when you are a super-pale girl, mosquito bites tend to stand out as bright red beacons on your skin. And when you’re living in Tanzania, you tend to get mosquito bites everywhere. You know how when you go to the doctor or nurse in the States and they say, “Nothing you can say will shock us. We’ve seen and heard it all”? Well that viewpoint hadn’t reached the particular clinic I was at. Instead, I got to feel the special type of humiliation that comes with pulling down your skirt for a shot and having the nurse burst out laughing at the bright red spots covering your tush. And then, still laughing, going to get a fellow nurse to come in and point and giggle with her. It was an experience I will long treasure.

So antibiotics done, feeling better, I was ready to take on the task of learning Swahili anew. For nearly a week I improved. And then some version of the same thing happened again. And again. And again. It culminated in a one week period during which I not only had pain from this, but also a sinus infection and malaria at the same time. I finally went to the capital to one of the better clinics in the country. I had lost ten pounds and the doctor was concerned enough about my CT scan to recommend I return to the States for diagnostic testing. We decided to try one last ditch effort and she put me on anti-inflammatories to see if we could reduce the worst of the pain. But two weeks later I had not improved as much as hoped.

So I’m heading home next week. Barring a serious diagnosis, it will only be for a month or so. Needless to say, I didn’t expect this and am not thrilled about having to step away from my studies. But I am also exhausted. I don’t feel like I’m getting any better and at the very least, I need some time to rest. So for now, it’s the best decision and I’m trying to look on the bright side…like getting to enjoy this sunset from the rooftop patio of my hostel in Dar.IMG_0386

Cooking Up A Storm

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I love to cook.  LOVE IT.  Well, I love most things related to food, but I really love the act of actually preparing food.  It’s one of those daily tasks I miss most in Tanzania.  Right now, I am staying at language school where meals are provided for us, but I am hoping to do more cooking once I move to Ifakara.

However, the language school has a tradition of holding a cooking day during each course, where the students make foods from their own countries.  Although we have quite a few students, it actually boils down to only a handful countries: the US, Germany, Finland, and South Korea (Actually, we have students from Croatia and India too, but they elected to just help with preparations).  We decided it made sense for each to group together and decide on one dish from each place.  The Tanzanians would also cook some foods that we hadn’t gotten to try yet, and then we would have a big meal together.

Kim, from South Korea, decided to make fried chicken drumsticks in a soy sauce with vegetables.  The Finnish couple couldn’t join us for cooking, so they just brought some items from town.  The Germans made a dish called “Farmer’s Breakfast,” which was a bacon and potato egg scramble.  And the Americans, you ask?  We made tacos.  Nothing says traditional Stateside fare like tacos.  But seriously, this was largely a concession to me, for which I am forever grateful to my fellow Americans here.  See, I love Mexican food (and yes, I realize I’m talking about Mexican food in the States, don’t get all huffy about it not being “authentic”).  Particularly spicy Mexican food, and particularly tacos. And I’ve lived in Colorado for the past seven years, which means I’ve had access to pretty quality Mexican food.   If I could only eat one type of food for the rest of my life, it would be Mexican.  If I could only eat two types of food for the rest of my life, it would be Mexican and sushi.  But for what I’m sure you can imagine are obvious reasons, sushi was not a practical choice in this case.  Because of this, and because I am slightly food-obsessed, I have not shut up about missing spicy Mexican food since I arrived.  Of course I don’t do this in front of the ladies who cook our food- the reality is that the food they make for us is good and filling and I really appreciate their effort and tell them so.  BIMG_0358ut yes, I have been guilty of moaning a bit when it’s just us students and we’re talking about things we miss from back home.  Okay, maybe more than a bit.  So my fellow Americans decided to make tacos for our dish (in fact, they made this decision while I was in my room sweating out the malaria so it may have been not only to shut me up, but also out of pity).  I quite literally got tears in my eyes when I heard.

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Of course the one sticky part of this equation is that we had no tortillas.  They make a delicious thin flat bread here called chapati but it is thicker and a bit greaser.  I was determined though, so I just told them to pick up some flour in town and we would figure it out.  I forgot to specify corn though.  I’ve lived so long in Denver that it hadn’t occurred to me someone would hear “tortillas” and assume that meant wheat.  But it is the thought that counts, and I certainly wasn’t going to let that bar my enjoyment of the dish.  So while the other students sat out in the open-air part of the kitchen chopping vegetables, Shantelle and I took over a table inside to get going on the tortillas.  The Mamas watched us curiously and made suggestions as to water to flour ratio, but we soon had a system going.  I was in heaven.

Agnes, one of our teachers, came over to help out while Shantelle started up the charcoal stove outside.  After a bit of silence, and noticing the smile on my face, she asked me, “You are happy?  You like this?”  I assured her I did, saying, “I love to cook.  It is one of my favorite things.”  More silence.  I could see her with a furrowed brow, occasionally shooting me sidelong glances.  “I thought,” she started, “I thought Americans do not cook.”  “How do you think we eat?”  I asked.  She told me that she thought Americans only went to restaurants, for every meal.  It’s not surprising IMG_0367since here in Tanzania most Americans either actually DO do this, or else hire cooks.  “No, many Americans cook.  My family likes to cook.  There are people who only go to restaurants, but most Americans cook also.”  “Kweli?” (Really?) She said, surprised and as if she did not quite believe me.  She laughed a bit to herself and we moved on, but it was one of those moments that really highlighted to me how the U.S. is perceived from the IMG_0360outside versus the reality.  Since I have been here, I have heard so many statements, said confidently, from Tanzanians about the US.  All Americans are rich.  All Americans have big houses.  All Americans own their own house.  All Americans have cars.  All Americans can afford whatever they want to buy or can afford to go wherever they want to go.  When I have contradicted these statements, or gently pointed out the diversity that actually exists in American lifestyles, or the idea of relative wealth, I am met with surprise or argument.  Particularly my position, as a student with very little disposable income, is a source of frustration.  IMG_0361If I can afford to come all the way to Tanzania, how can I not have money to give to people?  I have a computer, an i-Pod, an e-reader.  Why do I refuse someone who wants $50 or $100 for their children’s school fees or $70 for their daughter’s Send-Off?  Trying to explain that two were gifts and the third took me forever to save up for, that I am funded to be here and on a very strict budget, that I have to track each dollar, that I have student loans, that yes, here I am comparatively well-off, but in six months I will be back in my own country without a job or income where I am not well-off, is difficult with my limited Swahili.  Or that if I gave money to every person that asked, I would quickly be in deep trouble. Of coursI realize my financial situation is better than many here, I’m not trying to play it off as though it’s not.  And of course, not all Tanzanians hold these views.  Many have been to the US or have siblings, aunts, uncles, etc. somewhere in the States.  Many are educated and knowledgeable about the US.  But I hear these things often enough to struggle with how to talk about it.

But back to cooking.  By this time, we were making good headway.  Shantelle had almost finished up the tortillas, I was overseeing the production of the make-shift pico de gallo (this mostly consisted of watching Jerianne chop vegetables while I compIMG_0363lained about my malaria hot flashes), the Germans had their dish sizzling in a pan, and some of the female teachers were watching Kim with an air of incredulity as he expertly showed off his knife skills (most cooking is done by women here, I’m not sure they believed how good he was).  Geoffrey manned the grill to whip up some corn as a snack, while another teacher demonstrated how to use a giant mortar and pestle to crush the leafy greens IMG_0349piled high on the table.  We cooked using charcoal stoves, so it took some time and a lot of creative logistics to get everything prepared and ready to eat at roughly the same time, but at last we were done!

Pictures were taken, and a prayer said.  The dining hall was full with far more than just the usual handful of students who board at the school.  In the spirit of the event, I took a tiny bit of everything, but the bulk of my plate, the place of honor, was saved for two exquisite tacos.  Flavored juicy beef, a bit of avocado, Pico de gallo stacked high, all wrapped up in a home-made tortilla.  And on top?  A bit of Tabasco Chipotle sauce, sent from the States by my wonderful mother.

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Part II: Attending a Send-Off

Hey!  Come here.  Let me tell you a secret.  Something I bet you never would have suspected.  Are you ready?  Here it is.  Malaria is…NOT…fun.  I know, right?  Who would have thought?!?

I really shouldn’t complain too much.  I have a mild case.  The pounding headache is really no worse than what I put up with during the usual migraine.  Sure, I feel like every single movement requires Herculean strength and yeah, my entire body aches worse than the time I decided it would be a great idea to do a metric century road bike race despite never having ridden more than 40 miles in one go (and that only once).  But really, as far as health issues run, I’ve had worse.

Except, that is, for the sweating.  And the subsequent chills.  And the sweating.  And the chills.  And the sweating.  And the chills.  On endless repeat all day, over and over again.  I am literally just sitting at my computer, barely moving except from the middle knuckle of each finger on down.  And yet, two minutes ago, I suddenly found myself drenched in sweat for absolutely no reason.  In a bit, I will just as suddenly get goose bumps and start looking around for a scarf.  It.  Is.  Miserable.

But, I had somewhere to be last night.  I had delayed my whole trip to IfakaraIMG_0553 by a week to attend the Send-Off party of Happiness, one of my teachers.  Happiness is getting married soon, and the Send-Off was described to me as sort of the Tanzanian equivalent of the American bridal shower.  In retrospect, I would actually describe it as more like a giant Sweet Sixteen party or Quinceñera in scope, but it is similar in that the focus is indeed on the bride.  I did not want to miss this.  Furthermore I couldn’t miss it as Geoffrey, another teacher, and I were on the same invitation because we paid together (attendees contribute money towards the cost of the party); I was currently in possession of that invitation which was needed to get in.

So, with plans to go for an hour or two and take a taxi home early, I got myself prettied up and headed out with Ingrid, Anne, Geoffrey, and a few other folks.  When we arrived, the venue was lit up with strands of lights and music was blaring.  Chairs were set up in rows facing the anterior of the room, with an aisle down the center.  Up front, a dance floor took up most of the space, with three smaller rows of chairs on either side, set at a right angle to the larger rows.  And finally, in the place of honor at the very front, a raised platform supporting a cloth-covered table and two chairs.  The entire stage area was decorated with lights, flowers, and pink bunting.

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A pink theme!

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Ingrid, Anne, Abraham, and Geoffrey

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As people arrived, we amused ourselves dancing to the DJ.  Given that I had malaria, I was happy that dancing primarily consisted of swaying from side to side and, occasionally, forming a circular conga line.  With one amazing, fantastic exception.

There I was, just minding mIMG_0329y own business, getting my sway on, when suddenly the music segwayed into a new song.  Suddenly, as if on cue. the entire dance floor broke into the Hustle, not missing a beat.  Ann was slightly bemused for a few minutes- perhaps the Hustle hasn’t made it to Germany, but I reassured her, “Don’t even worry about it, just watch me.  I spent the better part of two years attending Bar and Bat Mitzvahs growing up.  I’ve got this.”  Confidently, I merged into the crow, ready to wow with my slightly jazzed up Hustle dance moves… and then ran into two people because apparently the Tanzanian hustle is not the same as ours.  Don’t get me wrong, it is close.  But, three steps where we take four in one place, an extra dip thrown in another; it was just enough to make me look like an idiot.  But!  I am no line-dancing novice.  I stepped out for one sequence and soon enough I was back in there, shaking things up.

Slowly the crowd had built andIMG_0325 so we made our way back to our seats.  A band led off, sporting hot pink ties.  Moving up the aisles, they had everyone moving.  What followed was far more involved than a simple bridal shower and there is far too much detail to go into here but I will give a few highlights.  A large group of girls dressed alike came up the center aisle, something like the equivalent of bridesmaids, followed by the bride herself.  IMG_0330She was accompanied by a young woman who was dressed like her in a shiny pinkish-gold dress made in the Tanzanian style who stayed by her side most of the evening as a Maid of Honor.  For some time after, it was primarily about the bride, who stood up front while various family members and the MC made speeches.  The bride’s family sat on one side of the dance floor, while her husband’s sat on the other, and both were in great spirits.  Finally, at one point, the groom came into the back of the room.  Rather than join his bride up front, however, he hid in the audience.  Tanzanian Send-Off custom, I’m told, calls for the bride to “find” her groom.  Happiness, slowly roamed around the room, feigning ignorance of her groom’s location.  Up and down the room she went until finally, she located him two rows behind us and everyone clapped and whooped.

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The happy couple!